Rangifer tarandus
Men spoke of how the heart broke up, but never spoke of how the soul hung speechless in the pause.

about

Eddie. ESTJ. Nationality of Korean. Currently living in Berlin, Germany due I pursue my study in there. Biology major. I can speak 5 languages which are English, Korean, Mandarin, German and Spanish.

I’m actually really hyper. Friendly and crazy person. I love the beach, watching football, movies, spontaneous trips, and learning about all the things I thought I knew but now realize I had no idea about.

My friends would probably describe me as goofy but somehow I always end up being the responsible one. I have a lot of hobbies to keep up with. At the moment I’m focused on sleeping and reading historical book.

To be honest, this site is my dumpster blog. What I mean is I rarely update my blog because I'm busy with my college. I don't want my scholarships turns out to be my university fees. Sorry and adios!

important dates

Jan 05 - Ellie's birthday.
Jan 15 - Emily's birthday.
Feb 01 - My bithday!
Apr 23 - Bella's death
May 05 - Papa's birthday.
Aug 01 - Bella's birthday
Aug 26 - Mama's birthday.
Dec 09 - Ellie's death.

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chapter 7

i'm stressed right now!!! i'm so tired with everything and one more thing- everytime i want to go bed, my thought keeps swirling in my mind

"oh how i wish i'm in high school right now."
"college is too hard for me."
"i regrets a lot- one of it is accepting this offer."
i didn't have a lot of good memories during my high school life. quiet depressing for me everytime i'm doing my research. i'm so done of it. what my future will be like? is it what i'm catching up? is it fail? ((sighs))

i'm tired of negative thoughts ):
April 2, 2017   permalink

chapter 6

i hate myself cause i can't leave my blog and i love my blog so much it's like my diary that i've to rant about hahahahaha let's ignore the previous post.

pretty late for me to share my 2017 resolutions but nevermind let's just continue at here. before that, as usual— 5th jan was my late sis's birthday. yes, late sister. she has passed away cause she was not feeling well. she's 19 by this year. so, happy belated birthday hyemi (':

i feel devastated as i can't visit her grave due i study far away from home and it takes miles away to reach it by airplane. well you can say that, separated by seas of course. one day, sis. i'll visit you. i'll make sure of that.

okay, let's continue bout my 2017 resolutions. my 2017 resolutions 'might' be more than the previous year. gladly i managed to achieve my 2016 resolutions which it brings me to satisfaction. so...


1. deal with the surroundings.

i realized i've been so stressed recently due to my surroundings. can you imagine when you tried to focus on something ((let's say study)), and there comes a group of aliens came into your room and ask you to join chit-chatting/gossips/arguing. in the end, say goodbye to your study time.

okay, it can be my fault. why don't you study in the library? it's very peaceful and you can focus on study? oh no, even i got distracted in the library. you can guess, right?

"hey buddy! i have to tell you something. bla bla bla bla." ((sighed))

my plan is, try to talk to them. DON'T DISTURB ME WHILE I'M STUDYING. or i can just put a warning note in front of myself while i'm studying. ((damn, eddie. even a kindergarten kids smarter than you))


2. not to have a relationship in college.

who doesn't get jealous when you see your friends go on date with his/her lover? so do it. i've been single for all time and my friends keep telling me "hey edd, why don't you go for a date with someone?". hahahahaha no, bro. and there goes my answer, "nah, bro. wanna save my money." ((heart screams))

so let them all have their date and you focus on your study to get a good result, okay bro?


3. have a confidence in you (yeah, me)

my confidence level when it comes to presentation goes to... 2/10. pretty bad, huh? who said if you're being friendly with anyone, you will stay confident at all time? i keep hearing the same words from my lecturer after i present a topic in my class, "eddie, you have a point but you're not confident with it. i don't know whether i should ask you to represent again or give you a low mark for this task."

so devastated )':

it's okay, I'LL TRY MY BEST, EVERYONE.


4. take a break and stop pressuring myself.

when you get good grades, of course you wanna do better than that for the upcoming 'expected/unexpected event' ((named it)) cause the feels of satisfying on something you tried very hard through days and nights is very... addicted.

and that lead to stressing yourself. chill, bro. study smart, not study hard. so what i'm trying to say is, i've to reorganize my schedule— between study and break.


5. have a proper meal.

might have little things to say. just have a proper meal and never skip anything. that's all.


6. love yourself. hahaha.

it's okay to be an ass when you know it's the right thing to do. i know you used to say "always expect the worst out of people" so you won't get as hurt or disappointed that badly but don't treat yourself like trash.

don't let others affect you. if you wanna talk to that person, you talk to that person okay. be more assertive in voicing out your opinions and don't let others discourage you.

stay cooooooollll, broooooooooo.
January 7, 2017   permalink
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